There was a prisoner who i am quite familiar with.
He had a history with me, a really long one.
Unfortunate for him, he was in a prison deep inside my heart.
Every time he tried his luck
To escape,
To persuade,
To trick me,
Just to get out of this prison.
And most of the time, i get to keep him locked up
but this time, i failed to do so.
He ran free
Away from this prison
Now i have to get him back
and lock him up once again.
I did this before, so it's not a big deal... really.
WrathA story worth sharing ... it will touch the heart of every man and woman
with family ...
4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how
does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She
must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to
taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I
have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and
emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.
There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.
With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!
Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:
"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."
At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.
A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing
up.
However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by
his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....
Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!
Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.
His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy. My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."
After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say... I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the
letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they turn to ash.
And one of the letters broke my heart....
Dear Mummy,
I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again.
Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldn't help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room.
I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven't you appeared?
After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....
For the females with children:
Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.
For the married men:
Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients. Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In
this society, no one is indispensable. Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.
For those singles out there:
Beauty lies in loving yourself first. With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.
PS: Sorry for not updating much, and if you have any forward emails please share it with me because I enjoy reading forward emails :P
It's ilidan5@hotmail.com
Adios!
Just today our college had an exclusive event which attracts a whole lots of college student!
Yes People, it's an 8tv quickie search!
I had to go for the auditions of course since it's my ambition to host a talk show!
Do you get it? A FREAKING TALK SHOW!
*Ahem* Well anyway, this would actually be a good start to host a talk show. That is what i think of course and everything was so happening when the search was on!
It was held at our courtyard.
Almost everything is held in the courtyard!
Yes people were in lines, repeating their scripts over and over again.
Some were actually brainstorming ideas on what they should do during the auditions!
As for me, i had a hard time repeating my scripts and brainstorming my ideas at first :P
Michelle, Azhar and John did the audition too!
Well you could say quite a number of people i know took their chance on the audition as well and boy it was crazy!
This is stage two where you get to fully experience how 8tv quickie works on the channel!
If you got yourself into stage two, you considered yourself "survived" in the 8tv quickie search :P
THIS........IS........STAGE.....1.....
You could say this is where all auditions for the search began from.
We were divided into a group of 5 plus we were given a script and we will be talking about ourselves for a minute then we will proceed to the talk show/travel show/ etc.
I got number 26 so you could know how stress it will be when my group went for the first stage right. No idea yet? I AM THE FIRST TO GO IN FOR THE AUDITION IN MY GROUP!
Yes the people were friendly, like seriously. They even give you a lot of chance to chill and relax since i was freaking anxious and nervous back then :P
Yes, lighting were horrible since it was flashy and it was really heaty!
My face glows like really bright ok! Hahahahhaha!
And it was hot!
Lastly Group 2.
I was actually shocked when Me, Vidya, MichL and Joanna were picked to group 2.
Anyway, it was really difficult for me because AGAIN I WAS THE FIRST IN MY GROUP!
Technically, Michelle Lee was the first but she was in the other group.
I kinda screwed up A LOT but yeah, it was really an awesome experience!
Now i know how difficult it is to host 8tv quickie!
Seriously difficult ok!
Hahahahahha! It was fun ok!
So anyway, we are left with the results on TUESDAY so I am satisfied enough even if i am not called by them (:
But of course, there's still a desire for me to be called by them! Hahahahhaha!
Ok then, See you next time peeps!
Vocal warm up exercise!
I'm alive alert awake enthusiastic!
I'm alive alert awake enthusiastic!
I'm alive alert awake
I'm awake alert alive
I'm alive alert awake enthusiastic!
Try to sing this as fast as possible.
Ok, it's not for you to remember but me :P
Hahahah, Adios!
Last Saturday I was out eating McD with Howard and Wilson as we are known as the 3 musketeer.
Hahaha why?
Because we've been spending about 3 or 4 years eating McD together and talking/laughing our ass off at least Once every single week!
And yes we are still healthy and alive amazingly.
Soon we tend to cut down our jack-ass time together due to the busy time in college and stuff.
So ya, last week I kinda forced them to go for McD again and my main reason is clear.
I wanna get the Royal Purple Coke Cup! Hahahahahahaha!
I know, i am evil right Hahahah!
Aiiiiyaaaa, of course to spend some time with them as the three musketeer also laa.
Anyway, to get the Royal Purple Coke cup we need to order one large meal and a sundae (:
Hahahah, why do i sound like i am promoting McDonald's Coke Cup?
Anyway, it was satisfying for me because I was practically skipping dinner and I was starving like crazy!
Tada! I got the cup and yes it feels like a wonderful victory after you obtained this cup! All my perseverance and hard work has finally paid off!
And wheeee, you can also see through this Coke Cup LOL. Ok pretty much random but ya, Hahahaha!
Ok I guess i gotta stop being really random now
Anyway it has been long since I uploaded pictures from my Phone and ya.
Here's the picture of someone who apparently looks like Kent in Sunway but Kent wasn't in Sunway on that time.
Hahahaha, Look alike right?
Ok i really should stop being random now.
Anyway, that's all folks!
Adios!
Ps: I am not high in drugs
Ola peeps!
Recently I've been looking for a new desktop wallpaper after i saw Howard's computer wallpaper ):
His wallpaper was related to space so I asked him where i could get one and he said through the internet :P
HAHAHHAHA
Ok i know i asked an obvious question but i can't help it since i was freaking hungry!
So why is my title "Addiction"?
Believe it or not people, I actually got addicted by looking for a suitable wallpaper for my desktop! Hahahahahaha! No i am not kidding!
Of course with the Help of Google, I managed to find a lot of wonderful space wallpaper!
Hahahahahahaha!
Here's what i had found and maybe you may need them to change your desktop wallpaper too :P
Here you go
Tada, pretty huh.Hahahaha, you're kidding right?
Ya Right.
RIIIIIIGGHHHT!
Stop bullshitting me.
*Roll eyes*
Ok ok I get it. *Pity tone*
Sounds familiar?
This is what I get from them when i told them about the specific cartoon i watched when i was little.
Hey do you guys remember Banana man?
I doubt you guys remember him too but I seriously do remember watching his cartoon show and it was so fucking stupid I can't seems to forget this cartoon show at all!
And yet people would think that I was watching...
Banana in pyjamas.
They will be like
Oh, is it the twin in pyjamas right? Hahahaha stupid! It's banana in pyjamas la!
Like Hello!! I know Banana in pyjamas too ok!
And when i told them about Banana man, they would often get confuse and they thought i was a lunatic for making stories up!
THIS TIME PEOPLE, I WILL SHOW YOU THE TRUTH THAT MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES ARE NOT THAT WEAK!
BEHOLD!
BANANA MAN!!!!!
Yes i believe skeptics would still thinks that i am lying but can it be so freaking fake when I even found the video?????
Banana Man
Mad Molotov | MySpace VideoBehold!
And rot your brain by watching this video!
Hahahahaha!
Now do you still believe me? (:
The foolish criminal..
And ya, sorry for not updating much.
I have no idea what to update on.
Stay tune peeps
Hey peeps, I am getting really random now but
Do you know that Humans and Dolphins are the only species that obtain the pleasure of having sex?
Hahaha, really random huh.
Oh well, back to assignments now (:
See ya!
And yes Azhar, sue me as if i care being this random :P
Hey Peeps!
Urgghhh, I think i am having a song stuck in my head right now after a discussion with Kent, Carmen and Joan about what we are going to do for our Video presentation (:
Hahaha, anyway i can't get this old song out of my head so i'm going to pollute you guys!
Hahahah!
Have fun (;
Cause you were Romeo, I was the scarlet letter
And my daddy said, "stay away from Juliet"
But you were my everything to me
I was begging you, please don't go
It's never easy to juggle
and promises
Azhar: I guess i am not going to win *cock looks*
Liang: And the Winner is number 64 picked by Azhar!!!
Azhar: Huh, what?
Liang: You've just won! Come on, smile!
Azhar: Ohhh hahaha okay.. *Smile widely*
Hunny Madu: Who influence you to pick that number lucky boy?
Azhar: It's him! My only totally awesome Japanese friend Suzuki!
Hunny Madu: Wow really? He must be really good looking!
Azhar: Yes you're right Hunny Madu! Without Him, losers like me will not win such prize!
Liang: Yeah, Azhar is right (:
Liang: And the winner, Azhar the NOT-SO-GREAT andallthankstosuzuki!
Azhar: Yay!!! Thank You Suzuki!!! You're my HERO!
Hunny Madu: Grrrrr~! *Look at her face LOL*
Azhar with his Cock face showing off his grand prize.
Congratulations Azhar for winning the Grand Prize!
Hahahaha, and look at Hunny Madu's face expression, priceless!
Hahaha!
Anyway, I got lazy to upload the rest of the pictures and steal them hahaha!
So i will see you guys next time! Adios!
PS: Thank you so much birthday girl, which is you Nicole! :)
Hahahahaha!
