22nd April 2010

The devil with his deadly offer.

Advice for People who drives in M'SIA!

Before i begin, I got fined by a police this morning because apparently i make an illegal turn which i don't think any freaking people have idea of since there's not SIGNS or WARNING that we're not allowed to turn to that road.

Happens in Kampung Pandan round a bout btw so be careful when you're there.

Anyway, this is a really good tips for drivers in M'sia no matter where u are.
If you have been stopped by police, i bet you guys experienced all those hocus pocus
talks from the police on how much you are going to pay and etc right?
AND THEY'LL ALWAYS MENTION IT WILL COST YOUR ASS 300 BUCKS FOR EVERY FINES RIGHT?
Well good news people, you don't have to beg for bribes and you can show them a middle finger and smile next time when they fine you.
This is because the price has dropped to 70 bucks! unless you drive a truck la.

Don't believe? I ada prove for the summon price.





Links:https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvjpsqU7nrYw5YpXAFw93mPw6FulmsYSVSFTM0l_iKSQ2uevn_SkpxMomrq4ReRjIDkY91TdTY6LhUDM8vinAeQya6QxxpJJwAcr4MwMm1XosMbv6EW94Nx_MATD-V_OOWhXP_Mj5n45IF/s1600-h/Police+saman.jpg

Besides that, police's main aim is to scare the shit out of you so that you can bribe them.
And i don't know you guys, but you can check either you have been fined by police or not through online! Here's the link!
http://www.rilek.my/webapps/pdrm/index.php
You DON'T have to pay if your fines is not in the site :D
It could be a prove that there's no update next time when u are sent to court for not paying your fines!

To be MORE SAFE, you can register from here!
links: https://jpj.myeg.com.my/PrepaiduserReg/
THEY WILL UPDATE YOU IN YOUR EMAIL EVERY 2 FREAKING WEEKS EITHER YOU HAVE BEEN FINED OR NOT.

This is a great news for us because apparently, if you pay your fines before a month after, you'll receive a 30%~50% discount!
Ah Thank God for the convenience of internet!


So do not be afraid of the Police anymore and let them Fine you!
*Don't know if it's a good advice or not*

Ps: Sorry for not updating much, i got lazy that's all :P

Jokes!

Hahahahaha! I found these on the internet!
Enjoy!


An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and walked out with 19 Dollars. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and but was handed only 18 Dollars.
He asked the teller why he got less money than he got last week. The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian man stormed out, but just before slamming the door, he turned around and said, "Fluc you Amelicans too!"


Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big, bad wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf."
The wolf jumps up and runs away.
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush.
"My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf."
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.
About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.
"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."
With that the wolf jumps up and screams,
"Will you knock it off, I'm trying to shit!"


Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole.
“Wow…that looks deep.”
“Sure does… toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is.”
They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait… no noise.
“Jeeez. That is REALLY deep… here.. throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise.“
They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait… and wait. Nothing.
They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and says, “Hey…over here in the weeds, there’s a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in, it’s GOTTA make some noise.”
The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole.
Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as it’s legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole.
The two men are astonished with what they’ve just seen…
Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over. “Hey… you two guys seen my goat out here?” “You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen. It came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!”
“Nah”, says the farmer, “That couldn’t have been MY goat. My goat was chained to a railroad tie.”


At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another, "That new bull nearly did me in today, partner."
"Oh yeah, what happened?"
"I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging at me like a locomotive from hell. He damn near got me!"
"So, how'd you get away?"
"Well the bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over."
"Man, that's scary. If it'd been me, I would probably have shit all over the place."
"I DID! What do you think the bull was slipping on?"


There was one time two friends sitting next to a tree eating their lunch until one friend asks the other, "Hey you see that donkey far away.." and the other friend replies... "yeah I see it." "I bet you 100 bucks, I can make that donkey laugh.. the other friend replies.. "go ahead I bet that money you cant do that". So the friend goes where the donkey was eating his food, approaches to him and lift the donkey's ear and whispers in it.. and the donkey started laughing.. so the other friend loses his money.. in the next 5 min the friend asks the other friend again.. "I bet you 100 bucks more I make the donkey cry".. so he does and the other friend approaches to the donkey and lifts his ear and whispers in it again.. then donkey started to cry... he goes back and the other friend asks: "how did you do that"? his friend replies, easy! "the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his.. "and he laughed.. and the "second time I showed to him..."


A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull."
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

Hahahahah! This is so funny! Do read!

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???

Yeah i was suppose to look for monologues online and then i was caught up with this.
Hahaha! I hope you guys enjoy this post!

9th of March 2010

I felt so stupid yesterday.
Damn it!